Today was a big day. I had a lot of people praying and a lot of encouraging words blowing up my phone, facebook, and twitter. I’ve finished my Pediatric rotation in nursing school with success! There was a LOT of studying involved and it was extremely time consuming. On top of having the stress to be successful in Pediatrics, I also had to pass an exam called the ATI. The ATI has nothing to do with pediatrics; it just has to do with EVERYTHING I’ve learned so far over the last 18 months of nursing school. You must be successful on the ATI exam to move into the upper division of the nursing program which moves towards graduation. So, it’s understandable to see the amount of stress I had on my plate. Today, I took the ATI. I did not pass. I missed the mark by 1%. My heart is broken. The next step: I’m held back for five weeks with remediation work and I’m provided the opportunity to retake the ATI at the end of the five weeks. This blog is not a time for me to just let all my feelings out about how frustrated I am but instead, share what God has already placed on my heart within just a few hours of my unsuccess. God has made it evident that I was not disobedient or lazy. I prepared in every way possible. I studied countless hours, took all the practice tests with excellent passing percentages, and prioritized my time. Basically, I worked my butt off because I knew He told me to. One thing for sure: the Lord never promised me success…in the world’s eyes. In His eyes, I am successful. He’s after my heart, not my brain! He’s after the care and compassion that I am able to show every day! He’s after the relationships I form with all the people I get to meet, go to school with, and take care of. My calling is not about the standards the world has set before me but instead the standards that HE has set for my spirit! It sucks. I want to be really angry, but that’s stupid. His timing is impeccable. So for now, I’m crying out to Him for open ears and eyes of things I may not have seen while my mind was completely focused on school. There’s a reason for this 5 week lag and I’m jacked up to see what happens and what He reveals. Please pray for me as I continue to keep up my strength. I have been called to finish the race and I will do it well, no matter what comes my way! What my earthly body desires may be completely different than what my heavenly body will need. Tiny failures may set you up for huge success. Romans 8:28 “And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him,who have been called according to his purpose.” Psalm 84:11 “For the LORD God is our sun and our shield. He gives us grace and glory. The LORD will withhold no good thing from those who do what is right.” First, I’m thankful for Chance, an incredible man of God that leads me and supports me through it all. Thank you to all of those who have been showing me love! I heard this song BEFORE my test and thought of each of you, whether we know each other well or not. Love will hold us together. You’re never alone. If you ever feel stuck, come to me! We’ll work through it together. Never feel discouraged in your efforts.
