He's enough in everything

Over a month ago, I wrote about a test I took that I didn’t pass. I had to pass it in order to continue nursing school and graduate in the Spring. Since I didn’t pass it, I had to sit out for 5 weeks and do a lot of remediation work. You can scroll through my blog and read about it. Of course I was devastated because I knew I had prepared for the test in every way possible. When I missed it barely by a mark, I cried. A lot. Then, I realized that everything was going to be okay. It was all in the Lord’s hands and I began to think about what He may need to teach me or use me for that I wouldn’t be as responsive to if I were in school.

So, I made it through the 5 week study period and studied like a champ! I also had one of the most intimate times in my life following who Jesus is and the things that God has called us to do…and that it’s not always pretty or “makes us feel good”. I had people praying with me and for me that God would reveal His purpose for this time and that I wouldn’t be blind to it.

Day ONE of my five week remediation period, on a Monday…I received a call that my sister wasn’t feeling so well. She had just moved into a new house the weekend before. She had complaints of a migraine accompanied with an MS episode which involved partial paralysis, blurred vision, altered taste, etc. She was basically bed-ridden. She was diagnosed with MS last December. My initial thoughts were that this would pass because she gets migraines frequently and it just happened to be bad timing with the MS episode. Before I continue, I’m going to be honest about where my relationship was with my sister. We were not close anymore, and we both knew it. Our relationship consisted of the occasional text message and seeing one another at family events. That’s something neither of us can ever get back, but my eyes have been opened that I never want to go back to where we were.

As the week progressed, so did her symptoms. That Tuesday, we took her to the ER because the migraine pain was unbareable. She was given fluids and was sent home on pain meds because that seemed to have helped. By Friday, she was worse than ever. She was lethargic and had no drive to get better. She just wanted to sleep. So, back to the ER we went. They were planning on sending her home with pain meds again but my dad insisted on doing an MRI, spinal tap…SOMETHING! So, they did a spinal tap and it revealed she had spinal meningitis. She was admitted immediately, late that night.

She was in the hospital for 5 days. There were many ups and downs. She was on intense antibiotics with a PICC line. There were MANY times when I was completely thankful for the education that I had received in nursing school thus far. Ashley had a cyanotic spell…bascially turning completely blue in a matter of seconds and I knew what to do!! Thank you Jesus! There were also some potential medication errors that I caught or questioned and it was just awesome to actually know what the doctors were saying and to be able to translate it to my parents, putting them at ease. She was on the road to what we thought was recovery, when we had an unexpected bump in the road. Ashley’s MRI results returned and a blood clot was found on her brain. Panic set in with the family. I mean, come on, anything about a blood clot sounds scary but when you include the word brain it’s an all-out panic attack! The plan of action was to continue the antibiotics and start her on Heparin to thin the blood.

After 5 days in the hospital, she was released to come home. She was 100% cleared of meningitis but she did have to come home with the blood thinner injections along with a blood thinner pill because the clot was still present. Not only did me staying in the hospital with her, praying crazy prayers over her, and just getting back to “us” bring us back together but there was a blessing among having to give her the injections every day. The blessing = I got to see her every day!! Giving someone a shot in the stomach is horrific but when it’s your own sister…ahhh, I don’t even want to go there. We would both cry. What’s kinda cool though is the type of injection I gave her was the type of injection I gave when I gave my VERY FIRST shot in nursing school. So, I guess you could say, I had practice. ;)

As the weeks went by and her healing continued, I began to just praise God for all He had done in our relationship. If I would’ve been in school, I probably wouldn’t have given it much thought…that’s just being honest. I love her but loving her wasn’t enough. I had to SHOW her that I loved her. For now, I am enjoying showing her that I love her and I would do ANYTHING for that girl. She’s so special to me.

Even though I had confidence in the Lord’s timing, I began to get a little anxious the closer my test got. I even thought about sitting out an extra five weeks and study more. Then, I fell into Deuteronomy. OH. MY. DANG. That junk will mess you up! I decided that I did NOT want to become like the Israelites. God displayed their Promise Land RIGHT IN FRONT OF THEIR EYES and they still walked on by it because they were afraid! What the heck?! I did NOT want to walk past what the Lord had promised me because I was scared or anxious…or basically…didn’t have FAITH that God would go ahead of me and fight for me in the battle!

So, today, I took my test. Passed it with a 99%! There’s also a score sheet that explains the individual percentage I scored in each nursing category. And the cherry on top: My instructor said no one has EVER made a perfect score in a category and I DID! Ahhh! Jesus was showing off! He was all like, “See, baby girl…I told you not to be afraid to enter into the land and TAKE POSSESSION of what I have promised you!” Ah, I love Him so much. He is faithful. He is good. All the time.

I am considered worthy because He chose me for hardship.

I conquered because of Him.

Glory to God. All praise to His name.

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