I have a love/hate relationship with running. The "hate" part includes getting ready, especially when the weather is weird and I'm not sure of whether or not to wear a sweatshirt. It also seems I get tired of the music on my ipod rather quickly so I'm always having to download new songs before I leave. Stretching is something I've tried to get better at over the months because even my doctor and a masseuse told me that if I didn't start stretching, I was going to do some damage. And then comes the mental preparation. I never want to go but once I find my rhythm and beat, the love comes out. We've been lucky here in SC to have such beautiful weather when we're rapidly approaching December. Low 60's and sunny with a crisp breeze. That's a recipe for perfect running weather. My favorite time to go is as the sun is beginning to set. It's absolutely breathtaking and creates a pretty incredible mini-worship experience. It creates a thankfulness inside of me for the small things in life; the things we take for granted. All that thankfulness initiates love for me.
I decided to wake up early Thanksgiving morning and get a run in before all the family arrived for lunch. So, off I went. It was a beautiful morning and I thought it only appropriate to listen to some worship tunes as I ran so I could really get in some good Jesus time. One of my favorites, Never Said by Brandon Heath was playing and it was a good time of reflection over my prayers. The lyrics were a good reminder of the times I doubt what I'm being told. It could be out of uncertainty of if I'm hearing Him right but mostly, it's fear. Fear of taking a wrong turn or going down the wrong path. However, those fearful times are when I allow faith to replace that fear. It's all a cycle, really. I had a pretty powerful moment the other night while praying. I was asking for an answer of something I've been praying about for months now. It's been emotionally draining and there's been plenty of times I've wanted to give up but something keeps me going. As I was begging for clarity and even saying "just give me the answer, now!", I heard Him say, "If I gave you the answer, you wouldn't have faith." Ouch. So then, I just prayed for renewed strength instead. I want to see as He sees, feel as he feels, and have a heart that is only triggered with His love.
When I've been running, I always pass a house at the end of my street. Most of the time it's usually dark by the time I make it to that end of the neighborhood. The man that lives in this house has no blinds or curtains so I can see directly in his house. He's probably mid-80's and he's always sitting at the kitchen table by himself. I recently learned that his wife passed away about a year ago and he lives alone. That pretty much broke my heart. Every time I see him, I always think that I should go introduce myself and just have a conversation with him but I never do. It's probably because I fear he's going to think I'm a total freak...but then again, he probably wouldn't. So as I'm running on Thanksgiving morning, I pass his house and I notice that his truck is in the driveway and I immediately felt a burden to go ask him if he had anywhere to go on Thanksgiving. I kept running. The burden grew. I kept running. Then I couldn't stand it. I turned around to go ring his doorbell. As I was approaching his house, I kept running. I thought, "I'll just fix him a plate of food and bring it by later". Yeah right, I knew I wouldn't do that. Then I remembered that not only will we regret the things in life we did but we'll also regret the things we didn't do. So, I turned around. I walked across his yard and rang the doorbell. I waited a few minutes but no answer.
I don't know where this gentleman spent his Thanksgiving but at least I had the peace of knowing that he wasn't sitting alone at his kitchen table. Even though this isn't much of a heroic story, ringing the doorbell was just a step. Small steps lead to bigger steps. It was a beautiful reminder to be cautious with fear. There's a time to be fearful and there's a time to replace fear with faith. And then there's just the beauty of time which is the most lovely of them all.
Free Counter
Regardless what you may think, there is a heroic side to this story. You listened to what God laid on your heart, you weren't defeated by fear... and even though gentleman may have been somewhere else, you were in God's will right then, at that moment. That's rather amazing! Thank you for sharing this and thank you for just being you =)